The Wiseman, The Christ Child and the Ninja

Why is it that the holiday seasons have come to be so stressful, is it because we bring it upon ourselves, are we trying to keep up with the neighbors as we try to create new or revive old family traditions? Whatever the reason that causes the added stress we need to learn to control this stress. If we don’t learn to manage the stress it will begin to manage our lives.

The night before Christmas my wife was feeling, well should I say “disappointed” because we have not done very much as a family during the holiday season. However from a mans point of view I felt, that with the exception of watching the normal Christmas specials on TV and going to band and choir concerts, that we had spent some time as a family. Don’t get me wrong I had all good intentions to do more as a family, but to be honest time just got away from me this year. It seems like Christmas came a few weeks earlier this year, (will someone please slow down time?).

Anyway, here we were the night before Christmas day and the family did not get out to see some of the lights and do some of the other “Christmassy” activities and my wife was feeling a little down. But there was still time to salvage the holiday, so I did what any smart father and husband would and that was to gather the family together for our annual Christmas pageant. I thought maybe this might make amends towards my wife and once again restore harmony to our universe.

Upon gathering the family together and making each of the kids take a “part” in the nativity. Everyone had a part, from a shepherd to the star, to Mary and Joseph to the Christ Child (When you have a large family you can put on quite the production). That is when our 4 year old, Aden, announced that he was a Ninja for the pageant. After trying to explain that there were no Ninjas present at the birth of the Christ Child he was adamant that “yes there was” (Lesson 1 of Fatherhood, do not argue with a 4 year old, you will loose every time) and he would not relinquish his stand. So in the spirit of Christmas, and to keep the peace in the home we let him be a Ninja. It is a good thing that I have a son that can improvise and interpret the scriptures on the fly.

So, when the Wiseman came to pay their respect to the Babe they were being protected by a Ninja. We all had a good laugh as Aden took his part very serious and looked like a secret service agent protecting a state dignitary, but he was only protecting his brother who as portraying a Wiseman.

So what did I learn? It is the simple things that can make the holidays memorable. There is no reason to stress about if you are going to get to all of the activities planned; it is the small things that really matter. Spending time together as a family, whether it is looking at lights or recreating the Nativity, with the Ninjas included, it is the time spent together as a family that will be remembered.

What were you thinking?

This is a question that my wife and I get asked when people find out that we have adopted not one but three additional children into our family. We already had five kids of our own, our oldest was 19 at the time and our youngest 10. Why on earth would we want to bring a rambunctious 18 month and then later a 9 month. Well the answer is quite simple, if not us, then who?

My wife and I know that we cannot save every child that enters into the foster care program, but at least we can help one or two, and in our case three, have a fighting chance after a rough start in life. In addition to the "What were you thinking" question we also receive comments similar to “You guys are Saints” or “We really admire your family for doing this”. The fact of the matter is that we did not go into being foster parents as a way to get recognition or even to adopt, but as a way to help in some small way the kids that are in foster care have a positive view of the human race.

We do not think of ourselves as “Saints”, well maybe my wife is close, (but that is my opinion) or as I have mentioned we do not do this for recognition. I think that the bottom line is that we do this because of our love for children in general. My wife has a saying that "she would rather wear out than rust out". And there are days that we are worn out....

We love to have our house full of children, making noise, playing in the yard.
Which brings me to the purpose of this Blog. Hopefully, I will be able to provide some humor, insight and advice on raising a family, or should I say the family raising a father, from a fathers perspective…So sit back, relax, take a deep breath and welcome the wonderful world of fatherhood.

Man Time

As with most male species there is a bonding ritual that takes place between a father and a child, for some it maybe going to a baseball game, for others it maybe hanging out in the garage working on the family car. But for me and "Flip" it is going the the "Man Store" aka. the local Hardware Store. This is a place where no "girls" are found alone, unless they are invited by a "Man". We go there just to check out the tools, to pick up some items needed for a "Honey Do" project or to sit on the Lawn Tractor and make motor noises. (I know it is a cheap thill, but to a 5 year old it is a great time).

Watching him sit on these tractors and seeing his face light up with delight is what fatherhood is all about. With the advent of video games and other electronic gagets to "waste" our children's time it is fun to see something as simple as sitting on a lawn tractor entertaining a child.

A while back a good friend and I was reminissing about the "Good 'Ol Day's", no not back in the 1940's or 50's, but back when we were teenagers. He grew up in a small Idaho town and me, well I grew up in a city in Southern California. We talked about staying out after dark and finding entertainment, we reflected on how it was big deal it was to tear your Schwynn Stingray bicycle apart and put it back together hoping to make it just a little bit faster. It was not uncommon for a group of us to set up a "Dirt Bike" track in a vacant field or to build a fort in that very same field with scrap lumber that we brought from home. The neighbor kids would spend endless summer hours building that fort. Come to think about it that may have been one of my first "Man Time" place where no girls were found.

Our conversations evloved into what legacy have we left for our children, have we taught them the things of life that are important, if they had to live on their own would they know how to change a tire or the oil on a car, would they be able to hammer a nail in straight? It is fair to say that my sons now know how to change a tire, it may take them longer that most, but they can do it. But they did not learn this skill until it was absolutely necessary, i.e. the car had a flat tire and they wanted to go somewhere and I was out of town.

So, a word of advice to those fathers that have young children, spend some "Man Time" with them, just you and your child and teach them to sit high on a lawn tractor, because it will be the simple things that they remember, not that you were able to defeat Dr. Zork in a video game, but that you were willing to spend time with them.So for right now, I am going to sit back on the lawn tractor at the "Man Store" and enjoy this moment, my "Man Time", just me and "Flip"...